I was telling a coworker about a couple of plants I've got going on this year in our front yard and told her I'd take pictures.

(in the extended entry) more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:06 AM | category: Square Pegs
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It was a good day yesterday.

Called my Dad, he's 73 now. He sold his house and moved in with his girlfriend. Bought a brand new fully loaded minivan too, he does that every few years.

On the home front, Liz reupholstered a footstool while I installed a new computerized thermostat for the house. We also did some patching and painting in the soon-to-be sewing room.

Yep, a boring and pointless post. Welcome to Rocket Jones.

Posted by: Ted at 07:57 AM | category: Links
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1 Happy birthday to your dad!

Sounds like a productive day you had at casa de Rocket :-)

Posted by: Cindy at October 02, 2005 10:38 AM (vg5qz)

2 Have you started cursing the thermostat yet?

I'm no Luddite, but I really really really miss the simple mercury-switch Honeywell thermostat from our old house. Simply push a little lever until the system starts. We have a new Honeywell with numerous programs and modes, but no ability to do that one simple little function. I don't want to use my brain to turn on the A/C or heat.

Digital-everything is not always good. Give me a proper analog interface every now and then to keep me happy. I must be getting old.

Posted by: JohnL at October 03, 2005 12:05 PM (YVul2)

3 LOL John, the unit I installed was removed from a brand new home by my neighbor (an A/C guy) at the request of the new homeowner who wanted it replaced with an old-fashioned mercury switch model.

This is the second new thermostat I've put in. The first was not long after we moved in, probably 15 years ago. It was getting fussy, but worked reliably for all that time.

I got a complete demo and explanation for how everything on the new one works. Not that it matters much, I'm thinking we'll be very stingy with the heat this winter because of fuel costs. That's ok though, that's what sweaters, blankets and cuddling are for.

Posted by: Ted at October 03, 2005 01:56 PM (blNMI)

4 I've managed to save up roughly $54202 in my bank account, but I'm not sure if I should buy a house or not. Do you think the market is stable or do you think that home prices will decrease by a lot?

Posted by: Courtney Gidts at November 16, 2005 02:44 PM (wjJFD)

5 I've managed to save up roughly $83788 in my bank account, but I'm not sure if I should buy a house or not. Do you think the market is stable or do you think that home prices will decrease by a lot?

Posted by: Courtney Gidts at November 16, 2005 02:54 PM (HpDlV)

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Look who's on the cover of the inaugural issue!

Blue and Rocket Jones get a mention too.

What's that? You ask, "what's 'podcasting'?" Oh, ye stone-tool-using throwback, you might call podcasting "audio blogging". Download shows (follow the links above and there are more links here) to your mp3 player and join the 21st century.

Posted by: Ted at 07:30 AM | category: Links
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I've written about some of my adventures while in the Air Force, many while serving as a Security Policeman. While I tend to share the lighter moments, it's never far from your mind that things can become serious and deadly in a split second. That's the nature of the job.

Airman 1st Class Elizabeth Jacobson, 21, was providing convoy security Sept. 28 near Camp Bucca, Iraq, when the vehicle she was riding in was hit by an improvised explosive device. She is the first female Airman killed in the line of duty in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Please, follow this link and leave words of encouragement for those she left behind in the comments section.

Posted by: Ted at 06:33 PM | category: Links
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I've updated the complete list of movie reviews and bios.

And, as always, you can just visit the Cult Flicks archives for all kinds of related posts. The link to all of the Rocket Jones archives are always on the right, available by category or farther down by month. I'm obsessively organized like that.

Posted by: Ted at 08:12 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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You gotta love this:

Hello, my name is Vic...

(crowd): Hi, Vic!

...and I'm a vampire.

Vic has a problem. He's a young vampire (as vampire ages go) who only wants a reasonably normal life. But every time he gets a girlfriend, when things get hot and heavy he's overcome with bloodlust and winds up killing her.

The only thing to do is to join a 12-step program: Vampires Anonymous.

The first part of the process involved taking a battery of tests to develop a complete psychological and physical profile. At the end, the vampire is presented with an animal especially matched to provide an alternative to feeding on human blood.

So Vic gets sent to a small town in North Carolina, known for it's sheep farms. You can imagine the fuss when sheep start disappearing, and of course there are complications with the small town badasses and women troubles.

Things really go to hell when a corporate slayer shows up in town.

There are mildly gory scenes and blood (it's a vampire movie, whaddaya expect?), and some nice minor plotlines and running gags appearing throughout the story. The VA meetings are a riot. A good description would be Doc Hollywood with fangs.

I like this movie. It's a nice blend of comedy and vampires.

Posted by: Ted at 04:50 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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1 Oh, it's a movie. I thought you were going to review some of the M.Y.T.H., Inc. books, which feature a vampire named Victor (no relation, BTW).

Posted by: Victor at September 30, 2005 08:06 AM (L3qPK)

2 That movie always gives me a chuckle, fun stuff!

Posted by: BLUE at October 03, 2005 10:14 AM (4Xncc)

3 I ordered it from Amazon.com, since my local video store usually only carries blockbusters...

Posted by: Susie at October 04, 2005 11:38 AM (a0oF7)

4 ...and I watched it last night. I liked the fact that it was almost gore-less, and that Michael Madsen was in it (be still my heart!). It was mildly amusing, but no Sean of the Dead (which had me laughing out loud). Maybe guys find sheep-shagging funnier than women do....

Posted by: Susie at October 06, 2005 11:07 AM (a0oF7)

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Stolen entire from The Ministry of Minor Perfidy:

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: “Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.”

“OH NO!” the President exclaims. “That’s terrible!”

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?”

Thanks Johno, I needed that!

Posted by: Ted at 04:49 PM | category: Links
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I can't even claim that it started innocently:

Ted,

How about playing a round of "How Many Beers?" for the blog?

You know the drill, how many beers to bang the broads on the list. If you decline, we'll ridicule you. I'm just kidding, I totally understand if you want to bow out. Our type of humor is somewhat...juvenile.

Here's the list:

So yeah, I played. Click here if you want to see the list of ladies I was presented with and my answers. Jennifer played, and sparked tons of comments on her round o' potentials. Why not make me feel as loved?

Posted by: Ted at 12:07 PM | category: Links
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I was jamming some Earth, Wind & Fire the other day when the Kalimba Song came on. I've always loved the sound of the kalimba, and a quick google search turned up these instructions on building your own two-octive kalimba (rather inexpensively). I just might have to give this a go.

Posted by: Ted at 06:00 AM | category: Links
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You must check out these actual Weight Watchers Recipe Cards from 1974. The accompanying commentary is priceless:

Once upon a time the world was young and the words "mackerel" and "pudding" existed far, far away from one another.

One day, that all changed. And then, whoever was responsible somehow thought the word "fluffy" would help.

Oh, and eggs, too.

Major kudos to Sheila for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 05:33 AM | category: Links
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1 hahahaha Aren't those things just classic??

Posted by: red at September 28, 2005 12:14 PM (YqCav)

2 Those are great, and completely disgusting.

Posted by: Oorgo at September 28, 2005 12:27 PM (lM0qs)

3 Every decade has its cross to bear. Well, some more than others.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at September 29, 2005 07:13 AM (QriEg)

4 Too bad the backs of the cards (the recipes) weren't included. Oh, man, those pictures gave me a hankerin' for hunger.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at September 29, 2005 08:51 PM (q3IVH)

5 Nononono, folks--you see, those recipe cards did exactly what they were supposed to do: they made you lose your appetite. Just...not in the way the makers originally intended...

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at October 04, 2005 06:04 PM (Vw1E+)

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Over at Two Nervous Dogs, Dogette has redecorated again (behold the genius that is "Goth Undies of Despair"), and bemoans the fact that she's way early on her Halloween posting.

Never fear, m'dear. To make you feel better, I shall begin my Christmas posting at once, so that people shall gaze upon TND and exclaim, "why, she's positively last-minute!"

So, I begin with a song. A Christmas song from my youth. A song I remember playing often during the holiday's, from a scratched up LP of odd little ditty's with nary a baby Jesus in the lot.

Dear Senor Santa Clause

Dear Senor Santa Claus, I think I tell you what

I would like for Christmas, and I hope you won't forgot.

I only want a peso that I can have for mine

to get my senorita something for Christmastime.

I don't believe you read the card last Christmas that I sent.
You come to see the kids across the street and then you went.

Dear Senor Santa Claus, I think me understand.
Sometimes the toys all gone before you reach the Rio Grande.

Dear Senor Santa Claus, I tell you what I think.
I no got a stocking--I set out my piggy bank.
So please bring me a peso that I can have for mine
to get my senorita something for Christmastime.

On Christmas Eve I watched for you, and I no sleep a wink.
If I no get Lolita something, she feel sad I think.

So please, Senor Santa Claus,
this Christmas be so grand
if I get a peso to buy a ring for my Lolita's hand.

I don't know what I buy for her.
I think I buy a rose.
So she can wear it in her hair
Most everywhere she goes.

Please, Senor Santa Claus, this Christmas be so grand
if I get a peso to buy a ring for my Lolita's hand...

My online research claims that it was written by Elmo and Patty, but for the life of me I can't remember who sang the version I loved so much. The singer was male and sang the song straight (as in no goofy voices). Marty Robbins, maybe? Jim Reeves? Dunno.

Now if I can just find the words to "I'm the Happiest Christmas Tree"...

Posted by: Ted at 04:25 AM | category: Waxing Lyrical
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I am, of course, referring to baseball's pennant race in the National League West. You know, the division where the San Diego Padres stink on ice, which is only marginally better than the rest of the division, which just stinks. In fact, if this season's putrid San Francisco Giants squad sweeps their four game series with the Padres, they'll win the division.

Grant, of The McCovey Chronicles, describes it thusly:

In the `80s movie version of the 2005 NL West, the climax comes with a muscle-bound villain -- Dolph Lundgren? -- laying his opponent to waste, and leaving him for dead. Slowly, the Terminator-like beast rises from the ashes, and it starts lumbering after Dolph, who grits his teeth and mutters, "Why won't you just die?"

No, no, let's just switch this around. Instead of Dolph Lundgren and Arnold Schwarzenegger...let's see Ben Stein and Steve Buscemi. In fact, let's forget the penultimate fighting scene, and just make the last 15 minutes of the movie a single camera shot of two 90-year old people making love. One of them is going to finish first, but no one really wins.

It's sad. It's ugly. It's my beloved Giants. I'm not sure I'd want this to happen. I'm not like a Cubs fan, who perpetually believes that the ballclub will magically transform itself into a powerhouse just by being the least pathetic team in the division race. The winning team will still be tragically bad, and they'll get to display that wretchedness for a few games longer, instead of going home, licking wounds, and beating their heads against the wall in an attempt at self-inflicted amnesia.

Then again, you never know. Go Giants!

Posted by: Ted at 12:24 PM | category: Links
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A successful test of space elevator hardware.

“We’re not a PowerPoint company anymore … we’re a hardware company.” -- Michael Laine, president of the LiftPort Group

In less than a month, NASA's Ames Research Center in California will host the First Annual Space Elevator Competition. Every day, the future gets closer to reality.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 12:04 PM | category: Space Program
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Well, not exactly. It's this week's edition of the Carnival of the Recipes, hosted by fellow Munuvian Triticale.

Posted by: Ted at 05:54 AM | category: Recipes
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In this week's fantasy football matchup, I was behind in points with one game left to go, the Monday night matchup between the Chiefs and Broncos. I have tight end Tony Gonzales on my team, one of the best in the game. All I needed was a typical Tony-sized game, and I could squeak my way to victory.

Yeah right. I'm an Oakland Raiders fan, and there isn't any way that a Chiefs player is going to do me any favors. In fact, my phone rang at halftime:

Me: Hello?

Voice: Hi Ted. This is Tony Gonzales.

Me: What the hell are you doing out there? You're killing me, man.

Voice: I dropped those passes on purpose dude. You know, Chiefs rule, Raiders drool. *click*

Chiefs and Broncos... sheesh. I used to say that during games like that I'd be rooting for a sniper in the stands, but thanks to that idiot Malvo it ain't funny any more.

So anyways, all hail Brendoman, who whooped me this week. Good game, guy.

Posted by: Ted at 04:28 AM | category: Links
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1 heh...hee hee hee...

YES!

Posted by: Derek at September 27, 2005 11:52 AM (FloaD)

2 Shut up, Derek.

Posted by: Ted at September 27, 2005 12:03 PM (blNMI)

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In the extended entry (warning - indelicate language) more...

Posted by: Ted at 06:42 PM | category: Square Pegs
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I only eat ketchup on two things: tater tots and grilled cheese sandwiches.

Posted by: Ted at 05:30 PM | category: Square Pegs
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1 Only if you eat with your left hand.

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at September 26, 2005 05:46 PM (ics4u)

2 I don't think so.
I eat Kechup in my Mac & Cheese, but at least I gave it up, putting it on steak......

Posted by: Blogeline at September 27, 2005 07:50 AM (YMz4J)

3 That depends. Is it Heinz-Kerry ketchup?

Posted by: triticale at September 27, 2005 08:33 AM (96P4G)

4 I can understand it on tater tots--but ketchup on grilled cheese...? YUCK!

Mayo. Gobs of it. The REAL kind, not that hideous Miracle Whip crap.

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at September 27, 2005 09:33 AM (cYpnI)

5 I like mayo (or better yet, tarter sauce) on my french fries--does that make me Canadian?

Posted by: Susie at September 28, 2005 10:30 AM (a0oF7)

6 Susie, with mayo is how the Germans eat pommes frites. Tarter sauce sounds good.

Denita, I like mayo, even on a cheese sandwich, but not grilled cheese. Yuck!

Posted by: Ted at September 28, 2005 10:53 AM (blNMI)

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Victor is riding in the Lance Armstrong Tour of Hope for cancer research.

We've had multiple opportunities to contribute to worthy causes lately, but if you'd like to make a donation to help him meet his goal, here's his page.

Posted by: Ted at 05:22 AM | category: Links
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I still maintain my sidebar links by hand, so it doesn't get updated as often as it should.

Stop by and say hello to:

• Trey Givens


• Steal the Bandwagon


• The Cotillion


• Wonderduck's Pond


• A Sailor In The Desert


• American Dinosaur


• The Steiner Aid


• The Colossus of Rhodey


• Not A Desparate Housewife


• Ex-Donkey Blog


• Prochein Amy


• Outnumbered, Outgunned


• Voluntary Redneck


• The American Princess


• Sompopo's Revenge


• Geek Empire


• Southpark Republicans


• Tilesey

The cool kids just got a little bit cooler.

Posted by: Ted at 04:12 AM | category: Links
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Not around here, but I've already wasted too much time on this virtual Lite-Brite. I always wanted one as a kid, but never managed to talk my parents into it. When we moved into this house, I finally understood why. We found those little plastic pegs in the oddest places for years afterwards.

Thanks to Camp HappyBadFun for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 09:15 AM | category: Links
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